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My mother’s first memory of me was the sound of my voice.  She said I screamed so loudly as I was carried away from her and down a hallway that a nurse remarked she had never heard a newborn cry with such strength.  We need our mothers and our mothers need us.  I was trying to make that clear but to no avail!  In Toronto hospitals in the 1960’s, all babies were immediately separated from their mothers and kept in nurseries.  Figuring out when to use my voice has been the focus of my life ever since.  My writing is the result.  Like my first howl, it comes from love.

 

To give birth is to be at the heart of life where the distinction between inner and outer dissolves and what was hidden comes to light.  Unbounded, every cell pulses to the thrum of the world and a woman knows who she is because she is in touch with every part of herself.  Yet fear of birth is everywhere, in our families, our popular culture and in the very “health care” systems we rely on.  It shrouds our collective mind so that what is meant to bring us into wisdom, thrusts us instead into shame.

Women have shared their birth stories with me ever since I gave birth almost twenty-two years ago now and the crazy thing is that it’s the women who have had births that deepened and enlarged their sense of self who are usually the ones most hesitant to tell their stories in public.  I know the feeling.  After a woman has told of being induced, for example, and she describes the pain she felt from it and the relief the epidural gave her and the hours and hours she lay numb on her back and how she waited to be fully dilated as her blood pressure and contractions and her baby’s heart tones were constantly monitored and a catheter was inserted into her and she wasn’t allowed to eat and she was filled with I.V. fluid and then her baby went into distress and was born through a caesarean section, it feels like the wrong time to share how I went through none of that and felt the strongest and most beautiful I ever had after I gave birth.

Women’s stories of the suffering they have endured in birth need to be told and heard.  It is vital to them and vital to us as a society.  They are stories that demand healing and action!  Along with these though, we need to hear of women’s joy.  We need to share how our bodies can bring us into pleasure and strength and faith in ourselves and our world.  I think these are actually the more dangerous stories.  They challenge.  They challenge our mothers and perhaps even our grandmothers.  They challenge the idea that our bodies are a source of an inherent weakness.  They challenge our collective idea of women.  There is camaraderie in suffering.  To declare that you live outside it is to stand alone.

Malala Yousafzai, the fourteen year old Pakistani girl who was shot in the head by the Taliban, is finding her voice again.  The world watches.  It was her strength that made her a target, not her victimhood.   A spokesman for the Taliban explained that Malala’s writing was “obscene” and needed to be stopped.   To claim that feminine intelligence is dirty has been the way of the patriarchy for thousands of years. The Taliban’s tactics are brutal, and proudly public, but the same impulse is expressed in more subtle but no less destructive ways in how birthing women are treated in much of the world.  Most women either give birth without the medical safety net they need, or they suffer obstetrics’ assault.  Either way, we are hurt.  So are our babies.  Some of us die.  My midwife, Mary Sharpe, who is now the director of the midwifery education programme at Ryerson University, calls the situation a “global crisis”.  She writes,

The incidence of medical and surgical interventions for birth is increasing at an alarming rate.  In many settings, induction of labour and epidurals are the norm and caesarean birth rates range from 30% to 70% with a corresponding rise in maternal morbidity.  In under-resourced areas of the world, equitable access to midwifery and obstetrical care is still not possible, and the United Nations’ Fifth Millennium Goal to reduce maternal mortality by three quarters has not yet reached its target…efforts to improve infant and maternal mortality by moving births to institutionalized settings are in fact replicating the worst in Western maternity care; women give birth in crowded facilities, are separated from their family and loved ones and birth alone in a dehumanized, assembly-line fashion. 

This is taken from Joyful Birth, a book I contributed to that was put together by Lisa Doran and Lisa Caron.

While much of the world looks in reverence to the United States’ high tech medical system, it is not serving birthing women well.  The U.S. is one of four countries in the world where the maternal death rate is rising.  Perhaps obscene is a good word for this.  Ina May Gaskin, a world renowned American midwife and author, has created The Safe Motherhood Quilt Project to bring women’s unnecessary deaths into public awareness.  She said in a television interview recently that, “We let so many maternal deaths go invisible in these United States and a half to two thirds of the maternal deaths that take place aren’t reported to the CDC.  That’s very shocking because in most industrialized countries there’s a huge effort to identify every single death so that you can say, “OK, how do we reduce it next year?”   According to the number of maternal deaths that have actually been documented, the U.S. ranks somewhere between 40th and 50th in the world.  The highly medicalized approach to birth by American obstetricians is not working.  Out of fear of life and the intimate human connections that are a natural part of it, medicine tries to control birth and many women feel safe in its tight hand.  Salman Rushdie wrote, “Repression is a seamless garment” *  Despite feminism and the sexual revolution, we wear our constriction so comfortably in the West, we barely notice it.

So my words are for you, to speak to the fear you can’t help but absorb and to feed the faith that is your birthright.  We are the knowledge and strength we look for outside ourselves.   Denial of life’s power, its unfathomable intelligence to bring us into being and sustain us, has been acted out on our bodies and minds, and those of our children, over many, many generations now.  Unspeakable violence is our legacy and the impulse to heal it demands that words be found.  A coherent story must be told, not just of the suffering, but of the rightness in embracing all that we are.  All our lives depend on it.


* Salman Rushdie, Shame (1983) from the first, unnumbered page of Judith Herman’s Trauma and Recovery.

On her blog ‘Shivers up the Spine’, Priya Thomas writes about her interview with Mark Singleton, author of Yoga Body: the Origins of Modern Posture Practice.  The interview was held before an audience (I was part of it) at the Yoga Festival Toronto a few weeks ago and was an exploration of  how we are framing and re-framing yoga as it moves more deeply into world culture.

Yoga’s relationship with language is an intimate and long standing one.  The Sri Yantra has the entire Sanskrit alphabet embedded in it.    The first letter,  ‘A’ , represents Shiva, the masculine principle.  The last letter, ‘Ha’, arrived at simply by aspirating ‘A’, represents Shakti, the feminine.  When ‘A’ and ‘Ha’ embrace, all of life is embraced too.

We can get physically tangled up in language though, bound tight by the cultural mind.  Asana practiced as an imposition of mind over matter is the patriarchal legacy yoga culture is struggling with, whether it’s delivered in terms of spirituality, religion or exercise.   In mind’s stranglehold, language loses its relevance.  It no longer expresses our experience but controls it.  Mark’s research documents the many permutations of mind’s imposition, present worldwide and through time.

An effective yoga practice untangles body from mind by digesting it.  Words dissolve, vowels and consonants vibrate in our very cells and we speak the truth.

Join vocalist and composer Wende Bartley and me!  In the union of inhale and exhale, movement and breath, we feel our innate wholeness.  By extending the breath into sound making, we readily resonate and open to a wide range of sound and healing frequencies.  Directing our sound into the masculine and feminine polarity points, we celebrate our union with Source.  Love isn’t something we need to find; it’s what we already are.

February 14th, 7:00pm to 9:30pm; Opensource Yoga (central Toronto;exact location given when you register); $30.00  Contact Inya: opensourceyoga@gmail.com

Come immerse yourself in four days of authentic yoga tantra! Deepen and refine your receptivity by learning the principles of practice that let the power of life flow. You’ll move to the pulse of your breath, release it on sound, work with yantra and mantra and know philosophy as your own direct contact with reality.

Having the strength to receive life is the point of yoga practice and the challenge inherent in giving birth. The means to this strength has been missing from contemporary culture and yoga teaching. It is the Feminine.

An exploration of the physiology and neural hormonal flow of love in a pregnant, birthing and breastfeeding woman will give our work a good foundation and point to her practical needs during the childbearing year. You’ll be able to teach pregnant and new mothers safely and effectively and know the feminine force not as a concept, myth or metaphor but as the real life that moves through us all.

I teach in the lineage of Krishnamacharya through the beautifully simple and profound yoga I’ve received from Mark Whitwell.  My knowledge of traditional midwifery is from Isabel Perez and Ina May Gaskin. The union of these two understandings creates a body of wisdom that is both whole and relevant.

AUGUST 13-16,

Friday through Monday, 10:00am to 6:00pm

$485.00

Certificate; Yoga Alliance and RMT CEU’s given.

To register, please email crescence@heartofbirth.org or call 416.994.4566

All creative acts come from the same source and unfold according to the same principles.  I discovered this when I instinctively used the techniques I had learned in my Voice training to give birth to my daughter.  Just recently, I have been the receiver of two creations that are close to my heart.

My niece, Sophie, is the first.  She was born at home in peace, attended by my brother (her father) and in the last few hours, by two midwives.  My sister-in-law used her strength to receive the power of Life and release her daughter into the world.  We are all grateful!

Having  just written about how Yoga is Strength Receiving, I got an email from Caylie Staples letting me know about the upcoming release of her first album, ‘Receiver’. Caylie writes:

I was working with you a lot during the time that I was writing the material and… recording it…you were a big part of my ideas about giving and receiving – thank you!

The album was recorded by Alex Unger and features myself (voice and songs), Katie Dutemple (voice), Felicity Williams (voice), Matt Brubeck (cello), Daniel Fortin (bass) and D. Alex Meeks (drums) -all wrapped up in a beautiful package designed by Emmott Clancy and printed by Standard Form!

CD RELEASE PARTY for ‘RECEIVER’
Wednesday, Feb. 24, 2010 at 10:00 pm
The Southern Cross Lounge at the Tranzac
in downtown Toronto
Free show; albums $10.00

The release will feature the band from the album, with Cory Latkovich subbing in for Matt Brubeck on cello – if you want to hear both of these fantastic cellists, get the record and come to the show!  The band is very excited to hear what this new member will bring to the table!  We will also be joined by some very special, secret GUEST IMPROVISERS for part of the evening.  Material from the album as well as very new material will be played!  Toronto folks can pick the record up at the release show or from ‘Soundscapes’ on College Street.